at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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