I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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