If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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