I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
