I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Floor bacon is actually really good
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
