He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
