Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
