I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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