I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
