i would punch a child for taco bell
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
