3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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