found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
