God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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