i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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