Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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