How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
