i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
