Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
kristin has been a bad kristin
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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