I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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