it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize