remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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