ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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