I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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