You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
