this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
