HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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