my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
