im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
