Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
