I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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