Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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