OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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