fuck your aforementioned shoe
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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