He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Its about making memories worth repressing
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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