so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
