Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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