So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
