Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
