I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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