i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
