I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Those nachos came to me in a dream
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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