I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Plan B is the new Plan A
I have demons in me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
