I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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