You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
