smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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