The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
