I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize