So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
