at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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