last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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