and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize