hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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