Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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