everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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