Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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