She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
