That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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