Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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