What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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