3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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