you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
