I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
