When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
